Book Review – Daddy Loves His Girl by TD Jakes

So I read this book in 2015 and the result from this book has been awesome. I can clearly say it was one book that started my healing and path towards sharing my journey. And so while I wanted to give a brief book review I realized I actually can’t there is so much loaded into this book so here are some few points I love to share

KEY POINTS

• Men love to show love by giving except a man is dysfunctional he would show his love by giving
• We lose so much when we try to be self-sufficient without God
• We all are different none of us is the same, it isn’t right or wrong we just are not the same and we should never lose our uniqueness
• Never lose your uniqueness to be what you admire from someone else glean all that you can from everyone but duplicate none you too priceless as an original to be reduced to a cheap copy
• God made whom he wanted when he made you and he has a purpose for your life, you are going to need those strength and vulnerabilities he has carefully mixed together in you. You are going to need them to play your role in history no one can do it but you
• Did you know that God never intended for you to be like anyone else? He wants you to be yourself
• People are blessed when you are sincere, not perfect just genuine
• God prepared me for life, instead of preparing a life for you
• You can’t have contentment until you develop an appreciation for yourself
• Avoid relationship with people who have no respect for themselves because people never treat you better than they treat themselves
• Contentment comes from within if you never learn contentment you will never be free
• Learn all you can at the same time understand that you must learn from others without losing your core
• Find people who enhance you rather than inhibit you, you must be surrounded by persons who celebrate you, when you have been with people of quality they will leave your sail full of air, your feet feel like running and you will see your strength through their eyes BUT when you encounter those who try to tell you that you have little to offer always remember to laugh it is impolite to hear a joke and not laugh

• Has no one ever pointed out the difference between distinction and discrimination
• God has respect for women as a weaker vessel not weak in terms of substandard but weak in terms of softer a silk shirt is more delicate than a cotton one. But it also more valuable weaker doesn’t mean lesser – just softer more satin-like God doesn’t tell men to honour women because he loves them more than men rather God is expressing the need to handle his daughters differently from his sons, daughter materials is more fragile though that doesn’t mean of lesser quality We need distinction. A distinction can exist without discrimination. Enjoy who you are one of the greatest tragedy occur when women fight their way to the place being treated like men. The tragedy becomes apparent as they later realize that the real honour would have been to be recognized as women

• Understand that you must not marry someone thinking he can save you – men are not saviours they have nothing with which to save you we men are heirs together with our wives of the grace of life
• Dear daughters don’t be fooled into looking to the arms of flesh for healing that come from the arms of God if you choose to marry don’t marry out of what you need, marry out of the abundance of what you have to offer, when people enter a relationship for what they can receive they are both disappointed – that why you need to be complete on your own and never need any one to complete you but God
• Every father should tell their daughters of their other father (GOD) in case they should ever need it
• Real fulfilment comes from God. He is the only one who can encompass every need and fulfil every desire, just realize that whoever God sends into your life will be limited and human they give a measure of comfort but real wholeness comes from God alone. There are some areas in your life that God has reserved for Him alone. He will heal them and fill them no one else can
• You need not impress God he already knows who you are, there is no need to project an image – you can be secured in being yourself knowing God accepts you just the way you are

• I cannot allow you to be bitter as you rummage through relationships looking for divine love from human hearts if you are to love a man understand that he is a man. You will never be disappointed by what you don’t expect
• In short, my daughters my sweetness whatever you need whether natural or spiritual, God is source form which t=your blessing must come. You need will not look to men it may come through men but not from them. All your help will come from the lord, he will use people from time to time but your deepest needs He will fill Himself.
• When you feel that you need something today and God doesn’t answer readily you must learn to trust Him and wait. Anything you provide yourself will only increase the struggle wait on his blessing and his timing and you will have the kind of blessing that adds no sorrow
• Look to God when their are needs in your life. He satisfies
• It going to require faith but you must with maturity begin to conclude that if God doesn’t grant it you don’t need it you may want it but if it were a need He would have supplied it. It may not come when you think you should have it, but it will come when you need it most.

MY FAVORITE CHAPTER OF ALL

FATHERLESS GIRLS, FEARFUL WOMEN AND FAITHFULNESS – CHAPTER 4

• Dear girls understand that there is a vast difference between love and sex
• A daughter watches her father and draws a conclusion as to what men are like, she watches and studies her father to ascertain what a male does and does not accept well
• We as fathers have such awesome responsibility we with our actions are defining what the next generation point of reference
• Just understand that where there is a lack in your life it takes God to heal it, otherwise you will find yourself reaching out to men for a restoration that only God can give
• When today woman is struggling with yesterday girl it causes neither total distrust of men or idealizes men attention as the epitome of success and fulfilment
• Having people in your life doesn’t cure loneliness but if they really come to know God they could be alone and still not lonely. It is when they achieve the gift of being alone that they are really ready to share their companionship with someone else
• Daughters, I believe that whenever someone is involved with you they become a part of what was going on in you before they came around
• Jesus heals the pain and soothes the itches in our heart
• Many women you encounter will be inflamed with the frustration and discontentment that come from their need to be affirmed by a masculine image. Some will have reached a point where they have become embittered by lack of positive male examples. They will throw themselves into careers, education or some other demand to avoid the battle of sexes God never intended for it to be a battle he intended one to complement the other
• Jesus is the medicine that women and men alike need to avoid obsession and extreme that accompany disorder and dysfunction
• He is the balm for every man and woman whose life has been injured by something they receive. He provides even for those whose pain stems from a starving reminder of what they didn’t receive
• Any man responds well with positive reinforcement even God responds well to praise! It is not manipulative to know this it is only manipulative when you praise only to get influence rather birthing praise from a sincere heart that appreciates the love of a giving God
• The answer NO to your question doesn’t mean you were rejected just your idea is We often intimidated by what we don’t understand. That kind of intimidation can lead to the demise of an entire relationship. It is a lack of negotiations skills that destroy the potential for long scale relationship. Even in your prayer life, you can better relate to your heavenly father as you realize a no to your request doesn’t challenge his commitment to you or his affection for you
• When we understand something, we are no afraid of it. We dread things from the past we associate with pain and discomfort. It would be a God given gift to live as if what happened had not happened. God gives us grace not only to overcome the thing we face but also to overcome the effects of the things we face
• The enemy doesn’t want these women to be able to run their heavenly father and be healed because they will then live as if the trauma had never happened
• They associate the problem with the gender rather with the person who inflicted the pain they feel as though all men are the same. This is a prejudice that men have never marched about.
• Her fear of a father may be stopping her from believing God’s word for her blessing her healing or her miracle she needs to know that God can be trusted she will say she trusts him but under pressure, she keeps taking back the thing she just turned over to him. She will have a tendency to domineering or even overbearing many misunderstand her dominance and think that she is arrogant or hard to please. However, in many cases she is just afraid of counting on anyone other than herself she will tell you “if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done” she is self-reliant and self-sufficient but worse still self-consumed. Self-reliance’s is not a bad trait unless it alienates other people God has sent into your life to be a blessing.
• The child in her has imprisoned the woman in her, when no one is around she shed a tear with no one to comfort her because all would be comforters have been chased away

What can she do how can she be set free?

ANSWERS

• The first thing she needs to do is isolate the problem from the gender, she needs to understand that all men are not the same isolating the problem brings healing. When she isolates the problem, she put it in quarantine and forbids it to infect all areas of her life. When she isolates it she stops the enemy from using it to rob her of good moments in the present because if her past like cancer it must be isolated and removed
• Second, she must allow God’s love to pierce through the pain. It must be God’s love first not man’s because God love is the only love that is perfect and will cast out fear His love will restore to her the opportunity for the little girl in her to have a loving relationship with the father who will not fail
• LOVE IS GOD GIFT GIVEN AGAINST THE PAIN
• But it must not stop there when she is whole she will be able to love others even others who are imperfect and have flaws without having flash backs and associating today with yesterday. Out of wholeness of her relationship with Jesus, she can regain the courage to experience love and life with others.
• The wholeness that is reconstructed through her relationship with the father helps her to understand appreciate and develop a comfort zone with men beyond having a point of reference that dispel the mystique of the masculine personality.
• God ministry brings wholeness, in turn, makes it possible to live as the brokenness had never occurred
• When you encounter women with broken past remind and show them wholeness enables us to love the impact
• The real challenge is to receive His love and learn to become secure enough that love in our relationship without that we will have tremendous standards but absolutely no companionship the walls that we build to protect us actually imprison us and time escapes like sand trickling through an hourglass
• We all need to know a relationship with God that heals the void then when they are ready to enter into a relationship with a man it will be for the right reason and not that insatiable thirsting for attention and affirmation that causes the relationship to be destroyed
• You are not limited by your past. You are only limited by the weights you refuse to release. Let them go and stench out your hands to catch the stars. The prize is always before you never behind you. You cannot run forward if you keep looking behind