7 life lessons I learnt in 2020

by Seun Yewande Williams | Jan 15, 2021 | Life lessons and Others

7 life lessons I learnt in 2020

2020 is one of those years you never thought could be possible but happen to be. In a way, never in my wildest imagination could I have thought of the lockdown, the pandemic and just the fear and uncertainty that it carried.

For me most of my plans went flying out of the window like they were never there and most times I didn’t know what next step to take. For some time, I battled with panic attacks, anxiety, depression and just a sadness that seemed to weigh me down.

But 2020 has not just been all bad; it’s been one of those years I will forever remember because it changed me forever. The lessons it taught me and the clarity and self-discovery it gave me has been amazing because no other year in my life has ever given me such.

2020 is a gift to me and even though I didn’t achieve most of my goals (trust me I am not happy with this), I am totally grateful for the gift only a year like this could give.

I wanted to share 7 big lessons 2020 taught me, that I feel can help you going forward.

Lesson 1: The Gift of Stopping – When the lockdown happened, the first week was a blur but afterwards I was able to pick myself up and realize one big thing I had been going and going, living life without pausing to ask myself what it was all about; what I was building. I didn’t have the time to just BE.

But when a virus forces you to be – and you do it – you see the meaninglessness of all the running without focus and purpose. If you would take something from 2020, it is the intentionality to create moments in your life, monthly, quarterly, or just a period when you take a pause and see if you are still on course or not; instead of just running and running like a dog without their tail.

Lesson 2: The Gift of Clarity – For me, this came in many ways. It came from the question I asked myself about my calling, my business, my brand, what I wanted to be known for, what I cared about and why it mattered

For you, clarity will come as you ask the right questions of yourself and most times it would seem like you don’t know the right question but you do! Take some time to listen to your heart. It is always trying to stir you in the right direction, so listen and gain clarity

Lesson 3 – Learning that the money problem had to be dealt with before I could give freely of myself.

This may not look applicable to you but if you want to change people’s lives and cannot figure out how the money problem (bills , expenses , material needs etc) would be solved, it would consistently hinder you from totally giving of yourself. So, no matter what it is you want to do in the world, no matter the change you want to bring about, find ways to deal with your money issues first and then come back for the passion. Don’t see it as a delay; see it as a process of refinement that makes your message authentic and true.

Lesson 4: The mind loves to learn new things – One thing I noticed was after I stopped struggling with the lockdown, what it could entail, how long it would last and gave myself fully to learning some of the things I had put off due to a tight schedule, my mind came alive. I realized the mind was hungry to consume and learn new things and it is never tired. So the more information you give it, the more it takes in. The only caution is not just to consume information, but to put it into practice. Do make a commitment to learning new things by making lifelong learning a priority, and follow your curiosity in new things you want to know more about. You will literally amaze yourself by your learning.

Lesson 5: You can’t give what you don’t have – I learnt this when I was sick I realized if God told me to heal the sick and I was sick how would that work and this brought my faith alive but I also realized it’s the same for a lot of things in our lives. If you don’t have the money you can’t give it if you don’t have love you can’t give it if you don’t have peace or friendship or laughter you cannot give it. So instead of focusing on giving these things, focus on getting it in your life and let it overflow. It would pour out to others from you naturally.

Lesson 6: Gratitude – Finding things to be grateful for when nothing seems to be happening in your life is tough, but I am learning that gratitude sometimes is not about what happens to you but who you become; it is more of an attitude. So I have decided to, every day, find 10 things I am grateful for. I don’t always remember to do it but I try my best and now, I don’t mind repeating the same thing over or be grateful for normal things that happen every day. I am grateful plus gratitude helps us remember God’s goodness in our lives because we tend to forget when things are tough but intentional gratitude reminds us.

Lesson 7: God will always come through – I had times this year when I cried all by myself in a dark room. No one was going to come through for me, everyone had failed me and I didn’t have any hope, but guess what God came through and I have noticed time and time again, He has consistently come through. This is not intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but know this God will always come through if you know your God even if it is the last minute. So, yes get to Know God intimately through the Holy Spirit.

These were my seven major lessons. I do have more; like how your money will always go somewhere. You might as well direct it to where you want it to go, how I am learning that time is way more valuable than money and on and on but I will pause for now and share them as the year progresses

I believe in being a student of life and your own unique life experiences if we choose to learn the lessons life brings our way we would be so much wiser.

So, what lessons did 2020 teach you and which amongst my seven resonated with you the most?

Do send me an email on this using the contact form

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Counted Among the Stars by Connilyn Cossette – Book Review

by Seun Yewande Williams | May 12, 2020 | Book Reviews

Counted Among the Stars by Connilyn Cossette – Book Review

The story is about Kiya born to a wealthy father, but by the turn of fortune is sold into slavery by her father who is supposed to protect her. She is then mistreated by the wife of her new master Tekurah, who she later learnt, is her father.

Kiya’s story is set during the era of Israelite slavery when God heard the cry of the Israelites and sent Moses to liberate them. It contains the story of the 12 plagues of Egypt which were used by God to not only liberate the Israelites but also show to Egyptians how powerless their gods were.

Each of the plagues was directed to one or more of their gods. The plague of the frog – Hake the frog goddess could not control the frogs; Basset the goddess of beauty did not protect the Egyptians from boils growing on their bodies; all their healing gods, Isis, Imhotep and Thoth could not heal their bodies; Hapi the god of the Nile could not protect the Nile river from turning into blood; Geb could not staunch the flow of lice; Kehpri did nothing to keep flies from the land; Ptah and Hathor ignored the pleas to protect their livestock and the wind that destroyed the crops in the land; and the god of the afterlife Osiris, could not protect their firstborns.

During Kiya’s slavery, she meets Shira who tells her about her God, Yahweh and how he has come to deliver them. Shira’s friendship with Kiya results in some suffering for her but she endures it to have a friend in Kiya. She also serves as a testimony of the one true God Yahweh. When the plague continues and Shira is not affected, Kiya’s mistress Tekurah releases Shira for fear of her God but this happening begins to make Kiya question the power of the Egyptian gods she has served all her life.

Tekurah continues to mistreat Kiya and is particularly offended when Kiya tells her the truth about her bitterness. She beats Kiya and chains her. Kiya is released by Shefu who asks for her forgiveness and she soon begins to believe what Shira mentioned that Shefu was her father. He helps her by telling her how to protect her brother, a firstborn.

Kiya gets her family to come along and stay with Shira with some persuasion for her mother, which Shefu provided. They stay with Shira for the final plague which made the Egyptians beg the Israelites to leave, giving them their gold and weapons.

The story also explores the Israelite’s journey through the wilderness, God’s faithfulness in parting the red sea, the need for food and thirst, war with Amalekites and God meeting with the Israelites at the foot of the mountain. It also shows how most foreigners that journey with the Israelites out of Egypt were not welcomed by them.

Kiya learns that she can be counted among the stars if she chooses to follow Yahweh, that He listens and He is a God who cares for his people and anyone that calls on his name.

In the end, Kiya find loves in Eben – Shira’s brother who used to hate Egyptians, and they both seek God together.

Lessons learnt from the book

That freedom is a gift and should never be taken for granted – Kiya never would have thought she would become a slave

Being kind to everyone because we all have our stories

We can be counted among the stars if we choose to follow Yahweh; that he can make himself known to us if we ask Him.

Get the book from Amazon here

** The link above is an affiliate link – meaning when you buy through the link I get a small percentage

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How to Develop a Writing Habit

by Seun Yewande Williams | Mar 20, 2020 | Book writing, marketing and publishing

How to Develop a Writing Habit

If there is one thing writing gives, it is the ability to express oneself fully, share an idea, teach, create books, videos, courses etc.

Personally writing has been my preferred method to share my ideas, create books that serve as healing tools in people’s life and above the way I use to answer difficult questions about myself.

Writing is important and for most writers, they cannot imagine their life without writing.

But just knowing the benefits of writing is not enough developing a habit that enables habit this is a usually for most writers a struggle, I have struggled with and here I believe are some tips I have used to create this habit.

By the way, there is an excellent book by James Clear on Atomic Habit get it from Amazon Here (I would be reading and posting the book review soon so watch out for it ).

The question then is – How does one develop a writing habit?

Here are some basic things about developing any habit a desire and a commitment to start.

Habit does not jump on people they are created and you have to decide you want to start it whether it is to read more, study more, write daily – you need to make up your mind to start but not just start you need to tell yourself when you will start.

Also, for any habit to become a part of your everyday life you need to do it consistently for a while, the same things go for writing – for you to have a writing habit you must write consistently.

But where do you start? – I will share some insights I believe can help in this regards

Understand why you want to develop one

I cannot stress the power of knowing your why in any endeavour, be it a habit or a goal. Once you can connect with your why the rest is usually less of a struggle. Your why is your inner motivator it’s what will keep you going when you feel discouraged and don’t want to continue anymore. Define your WHY – why do you want to have a writing habit – only you can answer this.

Be realistic with your reality

if there is another area people struggle with – it is being realistic with their reality. An example would be you saying you want to write for 3 hours every day when you wake up quite early to get to work and come back home quite late – you are already planning to fail before you even start so how do you solve this.

Realistically look at your schedule – if you are feeling clueless about what your schedule looks like try documenting everything you do for a week by a stretch of an hour meaning every hour you write down what you did that hour – you will begin to see some pattern, habit and things you do without thinking about it. From this pattern ask yourself what can I do better, more quickly or even delegate to someone else.

The fact is we cant create a new set of time we can only manage what we have, meaning there won’t be 25 hours tomorrow because you want to write so if your 24 hours is already filled up with a patterned schedule ask yourself what has to go for me to write?

That is why connecting with your why is important because it would be a simple question of what can I give up for the value I see in my writing and then you begin to see areas where you can let go.

Also, I would like to note that some individuals feel more creative at certain times of the day so do consider this when looking at the time you can free up for your writing.

Start small, not big

Now that you have set the time to write. Start small not big – why? like every new thing you want to give your mind and body the time.

It needs to get used to the habit. starting small doesn’t mean you never increase the time allocated it just means you get to tick that day off as a successful writing day even if you only wrote one word in the time allotted. so start for a few minutes probably 10 minutes and then add to it after a while till you can write for hours without stopping.

Just write

It is this simple write don’t edit (there is a time for this), don’t think too much about what you are writing just write.

You don’t have to feel creative at that moment just start writing. just write whatever comes to mind – this is also usually called stream of consciousness writing that is writing anything that comes to your mind down on paper the more you do it the easier it gets.

Create a Book project

This isn’t compulsory, you can write for your blog, write for an article but I always believe we all have a story so why not tell it and what better way than in a book. so if you are up to it create a book project you would desire to complete and write it with that in mind.

The reason for this is you always want to have direction on what your writing would result into. what the finished product could be, the possibility of this finished product is also a driving motivator to sit down and write when you are bored and the last thing you want to do is write.You remember your finish product, you remember your why and then you write with that in focus.

Celebrate small wins

We all like when we have accomplished something marvellous – finished a book, a guest blog with our article, won a continuous writing job – but we tend to forget the little thing that accumulated to give us this big-time goal we achieve that might look like an overnight success.

Every day you show up to write give your self a clap, celebrate yourself – yes no one will see you but you know that by showing up you are becoming a better person than you previously were.

In conclusion, I usually say writing is not the easiest of thing to do because you stare at a blank page every day with it telling you to fill it up with your ideas and thoughts while it is not easy it is worth it.

The things you write can become a book, it can become a blog, it can be converted into a video, it can be transcribed to audio, but as a favourite mentor of mine usually say – it’s all starts with writing.

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Your Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt – Book Review

by Seun Yewande Williams | Feb 6, 2020 | Book Reviews

Your Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt – Book Review

There are few books in my experience that are so generous in their work that you know that what you are getting probably took the authors years to figure out but you got in few hours of reading Your best year ever fit that category so well.

What is the book all about – Goal setting but in a much greater dimension.

Having your best year ever is about the goals you set , the goals you set have a direct impact of the type of life you have and the book teaches you how to set them but it more than just a goal setting book it is a life changing process and experience.

One of the first things you will learn when reading the book is the life is more than the work we do there is more to us than work these are our domains our life.

We need to be aware of the various domain and how interrelated they are and how they all matter.

Some of the domain mentioned in the book are;

Spiritual- This is your connection to God
Intellectual- This is your engagement with significant ideas
Emotional – This is about your psychological health
Physical- This is about your bodily health
Marital -This is based on your spouse or significant other (if applicable)
Parental -This is based on your children if you have any
Social – These are your friends and associates
Vocational -This is your profession
Avocation -These are your hobbies and pastime
Financial -This is about your personal or family finance

Every domain matters – each one affects the others.

So the first thing you learn is to make sure your goals cover some of this areas especially the areas where you have the lowest points in.

The book is then divided into 5 steps each with it own lesson and teaching.

Step 1 – Believe the possibilities

There was a phrase from the book and I paraphrase what if all your dreams could come to pass what would a year look like with all your dream having come to pass.

Personally for the first time I realized that more than anything what I believed was possible for me was holding me down more than anything else.

I learnt that in reality there were no impossible goals only ones you are yet to achieve yet.

What if your dreams were all possible?

Another major lesson learnt from this first step was the sources of this belief how it not just enough to know you have a limiting belief but also try and identify it source It could be experiences while growing up, social media ,negative relationships etc but knowing the source is important as it helps you identify how to stop it’s continued influence in your life.

Another key lesson was how to deal with the limiting belief by replacing them with liberating truth he gives steps on how to do this.

Step 2 – Complete the past

We can’t complete the past until we acknowledge what we already experienced An experience is not complete until it is remembered.

Simply put our past is affecting our lives and to understand it influence we need to complete it by understanding what happened.

There are so many benefits to looking to the past but a major one is it gives you agency to understand who you are better I believe knowing your past stories gives you the clarity to move forward with your life in a way that it no longer hold you bound anymore.

Completing the past when it relates to goal setting is important, we are taught a process used in the US military called “The After fact review” which outline five majors stages when reflecting on your past.

Stage 1 – Was to state what you wanted to happen

Stage 2 – Acknowledge actually happened

Stage 3- learn from the experience

Stage 4 – Adjust your behavior

We also learnt the value of regrets and gratitude- how regret are not always bad but show us opportunities we can take advantage of.

Step 3 – Design your future

Great result don’t just happen you don’t usually drift to a destination you would have chose.

Instead you have to be intentional force yourself to get clear on what you want and why it is important and then pursue a plan of action that accomplished your objectives

This section was meat of the book it was all about the goal setting process and I learnt that great goals check 7 boxes is – the SMARTER framework.

Specific – it must be concise, not vague you should know when you have achieved it an example of vague goals can be to write a book, a better goal is to say write a book on X topic by June 20XX.

Measurable – A simple explanation for this is that there is a criteria for success you can tell if you are making progress towards the goal.

Actionable – This talks about the things you are going to do, what are the actions you will be taking.

Risky – This is all about setting goals that are not comfortable or easy but stretch you to become a better person.

Time Keyed – There has to be a deadline or frequency to the goals you set – and they should not all be 31st of December spread it throughout the year.

Exciting – You have to passionate about your goals, this is about you wanting to achieve it and also enjoy doing so.

Relevant – This relates to the seasons of your life being aware of restrain and opportunities they might pose on your goals and also making sure there is alignment among your goal that none of them is contradicting.

Another lesson learnt here was the difference between Achievement goals and Habit goal – Habit goal were more of daily progression , having streaks and frequency attached to them , achievement on the other hand were more of one time milestones or point of success you want to get to you neither meet it or you don’t, the main thing was to know the right mix between the two types of goals and when to use them.

I also learnt on the different place a goal can be set which are comfort zone (usually too easy ), discomfort zone (this is the right place because they stretch you and it is risky) and lastly delusional zone (most times goal set here are impossible to being fulfilled) knowing the difference in our goal pursuit help us greatly in planning our next action step.

Step 4 – knowing your why

This step was all about mastering your motivation especially when we hit the messy middle of life when we are tired and want to give up.

I learnt that it not enough to set goals that meet the SMARTER framework I needed to know why I was setting those goals.

Our WHAT (the goals we set need ) need a WHY

Understanding why you want to achieve the goal is important because it keeps you motivated to continue when you do not have the will power to go on, reading out those reason will reconnect you to the goal once more in a more emotional level.

I also learnt how we can keep our motivation to achieve our goal by doing life with others and not in isolation this can look in forms of accountability group , close friends , coaching etc but overall when we have people close to us who encourage us and motivate us the tendency to achieve our goals become higher,

Step 5 – Making happen

A lesson learnt here is that setting the goal is just half the work done actually making it happen by the actions we take was another half of the equation.

How do we do this?

By doing easiest part first and identifying our next action step which should be in areas of comfort , how if we break down every goal there are step by step thing we can do to achieve it we shouldn’t wait for the whole stairway or know everything step before we act but how by taking one step per time was all that was needed.

Getting outside help – this could be in form of getting a coach reading a book getting mentors or group coaching but one main key point to realize is that whatever we want to achieve someone has done it before so we dont have to start from scratch.

Lastly was to commit to act – a quote in the book bring this more life

Scottish mountain climber W. H. Murray put it this way: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creativity, there is one elementary truth . . . that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

Another point in the book was creating action triggers that were in themselves not the goal but help you automatically follow through with the goal. An example could be setting your gym cloth the night ahead , going to a certain room your mind associate with a thing.

Lastly I learnt the value of review – the place of daily , weekly and quarterly goals and how keeping your goal in focus is probably one of the biggest factors missing in many goals setting process we set the goal once and we forget it and allow it to catch dust somewhere.

A constant review helps you know which goals you have achieved , which needs more work , which need to be reviewed or change , which need to be deleted because they are not serving you and which should be replaced.

Micheal Hyatt’s book – Your best year ever is a masterpiece that not only teaches you about goal setting but literally can be one key factors why you get to have your best year ever.

I am a living witness of it transformation in my life not only have I made a commitment to read the book every year but it has so far given me the tools I need to constantly make each year my best yet.

I hope you get the book – you can get it via Amazon below.

Please note it is an affiliate link the price on the amazon doesn’t change if you want to get it there directly I only get a bonus if you get it through link (Thanks in advance).

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How to change your life with habits

by Seun Yewande Williams | Oct 22, 2019 | Life lessons and Others

How to change your life with habits

Every success we see has a behind the scene habit we most times are not aware of.

We see the success but there is so much discipline, habits and actions that are at work that we don’t see and for different people, there are different things they do.

I do no believe in copying people’s habits 100% because we are all different and what works for one person may not work for you but I am also a believer that what you are not aware of you cannot implement.

So when we look at people we respect and see things in their lives we would like to emulate we need to realize and be conscious of the fact that it might be good for us, bad for us or it might even be something we can’t emulate in this phase of our life.

This blog post is about how do we make the habit see and want to emulate a part of our life how do they become natural to us.

The background of this lesson for me was that I struggled consistently with following through on new habit I wanted in my life. I gave myself the excuse that I simply did not have as much time as I wanted to follow through since I couldn’t plot it on my timeline (I used this method I call timeline plotting).

A timeline plot is simply putting a specific time every day when you will be doing something and using that to create a routine so that it won’t be something you think too much about you would just do it.

But I still struggled until recently when I found some key steps and lessons that have really helped me be more consistent in my habit and actions daily. I will be sharing them in the lessons below;

Lesson 1: Your mind has to be ready – you need to mentally prepare your mind for the new habit.

The biggest fact is if you can’t see it in your mind you won’t do it , your minds need to agree with you on the benefits of what you are doing, on why you are doing it and what it will gain from doing the habit consistently if this is not settled first you will be fighting a losing battle.

So get the routine and habit agreed in your mind first; it all starts there – everything is in your mind.

Lesson 2: Your body will fight you – so be ready for its resistance.

Your body doesn’t hate you it just like comfort too much so she will tell you 100 reasons why you should sleep more, eat more etc.

You need to realize this as feedback from your body to you, sometimes the feedback is correct sometimes it is wrong.

Examples are the time you thought you will die when you did something totally new that pushed you out of your comfort zone say fasting and you didn’t that was feedback from your body that you didn’t need to listen to.

Another example might be when your body told you to rest and you didn’t and you ended up falling sick now that is feed back you should have listened to.

Your body will constantly give you feedback you will need to evaluate it and decide what is true or false and then use that to take necessary action.

Lesson 3: Do not undervalue the result of little time example 10 minutes – it adds up.

This was my hardest stumbling block I had this belief that it had to be an hour for it to count for something and this might be the same for you too, I just want to tell you not to undervalue the little blocked time even if it is 10 minutes it counts.

It counts both mentally and physically;

Mentally it strengthens the agreement you made with yourself when you started, it let you know within yourself that you can depend on your words and decisions and also it builds your self-confidence and esteem for yourself.

Physically it counts because your body begin to align it begins to say “Okay we are doing this no more excuse to give”.

And over all it makes you feel better about your life showing up for a few minutes may not always look like much but it accumulates value over time.

Lesson 4: Expect not to be perfect and miss days – even experts fail they just don’t tell you

This also used to bug me because I wanted things to be perfect but they won’t you will fail, we all fail to be consistent all the time, don’t expect perfection but learn from it and keep on showing up and becoming better.

Lesson 5: Prepare yourself and your environment for success.

A typical example for me was that I used to think I could stay on my bed and read – nope doesn’t work for me at all; I had to learn that staying on my bed simply meant sleep and there was no way my will power could do anything about it.

The same goes for you, you need to figure out what environment encourages your success and what doesn’t. You might have to test things out but once you find the environment that works stick to it.

Lesson 6: Know exactly what you will be doing beforehand.

If you plan on writing know what the topic is going to be about, if you plan to read know which book you will be reading, do not get to that scheduled time and then start wondering what it is you are supposed to do – know it beforehand.

You may not have all the answers or all the details planned out but at least know what the project or subject matter will be.

Lesson 7: Be flexible to changes and be opened to testing – this is where you know what really works for you.

It is your life and not anyone else so do not think you have to copy anyone’s schedule time, routines or actions.

Test and see what work for you, how it makes you feel and when best it is to start.

Test to see the order it should go through, test to see if you are more productive at certain times than the others – test, test, test.

You have the right to accept what works for you and reject what doesn’t work without guilt.

I believe this lessons, if planned and taken into action, would allow you to not just implement your desired new habits but actually see the ripple effect consistency can have in your life.

What was your biggest takeaway? – send me an email to let me know.

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