7 life lesson I learnt in 2020

7 life lesson I learnt in 2020

7 life lesson I learnt in 2020

7 Lessons I learnt in 2020

2020 is one of those years you never thought could be possible but happen to be. In a way, never in my wildest imagination could I have thought of the lockdown, the pandemic and just the fear and uncertainty that it carried.

 

For me most of my plans went flying out of the window like they were never there and most times I didn’t know what next step to take. For some time, I battled with panic attacks, anxiety, depression and just a sadness that seemed to weigh me down.

 

But 2020 has not just been all bad; it’s been one of those years I will forever remember because it changed me forever. The lessons it taught me and the clarity and self-discovery it gave me has been amazing because no other year in my life has ever given me such.

 

2020 is a gift to me and even though I didn’t achieve most of my goals (trust me I am not happy with this), I am totally grateful for the gift only a year like this could give.

 

I wanted to share 7 big lessons 2020 taught me, that I feel can help you going forward.

 

Lesson 1: The Gift of Stopping – When the lockdown happened, the first week was a blur but afterwards I was able to pick myself up and realize one big thing I had been going and going, living life without pausing to ask myself what it was all about; what I was building. I didn’t have the time to just BE.

 

But when a virus forces you to be – and you do it – you see the meaninglessness of all the running without focus and purpose. If you would take something from 2020, it is the intentionality to create moments in your life, monthly, quarterly, or just a period when you take a pause and see if you are still on course or not;  instead of just running and running like a dog without their tail.

 

Lesson 2: The Gift of Clarity – For me, this came in many ways. It came from the question I asked myself about my calling, my business, my brand, what I wanted to be known for, what I cared about and why it mattered

 

For you, clarity will come as you ask the right questions of yourself and most times it would seem like you don’t know the right question but you do! Take some time to listen to your heart. It is always trying to stir you in the right direction, so listen and gain clarity

 

Lesson 3 – Learning that the money problem had to be dealt with before I could give freely of myself.

This may not look applicable to you but if you want to change people’s lives and cannot figure out how the money problem (bills , expenses , material needs etc) would be solved, it would consistently hinder you from totally giving of yourself. So, no matter what it is you want to do in the world, no matter the change you want to bring about, find ways to deal with your money issues first and then come back for the passion. Don’t see it as a delay; see it as a process of refinement that makes your message authentic and true.

 

Lesson 4: The mind loves to learn new things – One thing I noticed was after I stopped struggling with the lockdown, what it could entail, how long it would last and gave myself fully to learning some of the things I had put off due to a tight schedule, my mind came alive. I realized the mind was hungry to consume and learn new things and it is never tired. So the more information you give it, the more it takes in. The only caution is not just to consume information, but to put it into practice. Do make a commitment to learning new things by making lifelong learning a priority, and follow your curiosity in new things you want to know more about. You will literally amaze yourself by your learning.

 

Lesson 5: You can’t give what you don’t have  – I learnt this when I was sick I realized if God told me to heal the sick and I was sick how would that work and this brought my faith alive but I also realized it’s the same for a lot of things in our lives. If you don’t have the money you can’t give it if you don’t have love you can’t give it if you don’t have peace or friendship or laughter you cannot give it. So instead of focusing on giving these things, focus on getting it in your life and let it overflow. It would pour out to others from you naturally.

 

Lesson 6:  Gratitude – Finding things to be grateful for when nothing seems to be happening in your life is tough, but I am learning that gratitude sometimes is not about what happens to you but who you become; it is more of an attitude. So I have decided to, every day, find 10 things I am grateful for. I don’t always remember to do it but I try my best and now, I don’t mind repeating the same thing over or be grateful for normal things that happen every day. I am grateful plus gratitude helps us remember God’s goodness in our lives because we tend to forget when things are tough but intentional gratitude reminds us.

 

Lesson 7: God will always come through – I had times this year when I cried all by myself in a dark room. No one was going to come through for me, everyone had failed me and I didn’t have any hope, but guess what God came through and I have noticed time and time again, He has consistently come through. This is not intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but know this God will always come through if you know your God even if it is the last minute. So, yes get to Know God intimately through the Holy Spirit.

 

 

These were my seven major lessons. I do have more; like how your money will always go somewhere. You might as well direct it to where you want it to go, how I am learning that time is way more valuable than money and on and on but I will pause for now and share them as the year progresses

 

I believe in being a student of life and your own unique life experiences if we choose to learn the lessons life brings our way we would be so much wiser.

 

So, what lessons did 2020 teach you and which amongst my seven resonated with you the most?

 

Do send me an email on this using the contact form

How to change your life with habits

How to change your life with habits

How to change your life with habits

Every success we see has a behind the scene habit we most times are not aware of.
 
We see the success but there is so much discipline, habits and actions that are at work that we don’t see and for different people, there are different things they do.
 
I do no believe in copying people’s habits 100% because we are all different and what works for one person may not work for you but I am also a believer that what you are not aware of you cannot implement.
 
So when we look at people we respect and see things in their lives we would like to emulate we need to realize and be conscious of the fact that it might be good for us, bad for us or it might even be something we can’t emulate in this phase of our life.
 
This blog post is about how do we make the habit see and want to emulate a part of our life how do they become natural to us.
 
The background of this lesson for me was that I struggled consistently with following through on new habit I wanted in my life. I gave myself the excuse that I simply did not have as much time as I wanted to follow through since I couldn’t plot it on my timeline (I used this method I call timeline plotting).
 
A timeline plot is simply putting a specific time every day when you will be doing something and using that to create a routine so that it won’t be something you think too much about you would just do it.
 
But I still struggled until recently when I found some key steps and lessons that have really helped me be more consistent in my habit and actions daily. I will be sharing them in the lessons below;

 

Lesson 1: Your mind has to be ready – you need to mentally prepare your mind for the new habit.

The biggest fact is if you can’t see it in your mind you won’t do it , your minds need to agree with you on the benefits of what you are doing, on why you are doing it and what it will gain from doing the habit consistently if this is not settled first you will be fighting a losing battle.
 
So get the routine and habit agreed in your mind first; it all starts there – everything is in your mind.
 

Lesson 2: Your body will fight you – so be ready for its resistance.

Your body doesn’t hate you it just like comfort too much so she will tell you 100 reasons why you should sleep more, eat more etc.
 
You need to realize this as feedback from your body to you,  sometimes the feedback is correct sometimes it is wrong.
 
Examples are the time you thought you will die when you did something totally new that pushed you out of your comfort zone say fasting and you didn’t that was  feedback from your body that you didn’t need to listen to.
 
Another example  might be when your body told you to rest and you didn’t and you ended up falling sick now that is feed back you should have listened to.
 
Your body will constantly give you feedback you will need to evaluate it and decide what is true or false and then use that to take necessary action.
 

 Lesson 3: Do not undervalue the result of little time example 10 minutes – it adds up.

 
This was my hardest stumbling block I had this belief that it had to be an hour for it to count for something and this might be the same for you too, I just want to tell you not  to undervalue the little blocked time even if it is 10 minutes it counts.
 
It counts both mentally and physically;
 
Mentally it strengthens the agreement you made with yourself when you started, it let you know within yourself that you can depend on your words and decisions and also it builds your self-confidence and esteem for yourself.
 
Physically it counts because your body begin to align it begins to say “Okay we are doing this no more excuse to give”.
 
And over all it makes you feel better about your life showing up for a few minutes may not always look like much but it accumulates value over time.
 

Lesson 4: Expect not to be perfect and miss days – even experts fail they just don’t tell you

This also used to bug me because I wanted things to be perfect but they won’t you will fail, we all fail to be consistent all the time, don’t expect perfection but learn from it and keep on showing up and becoming better.
 

Lesson 5: Prepare yourself and your environment for success.

A typical example for me was that I used to think I could stay on my bed and read – nope doesn’t work for me at all; I had to learn that staying on my bed simply meant sleep and there was no way my will power could do anything about it.
 
The same goes for you, you need to figure out what environment encourages your success and what doesn’t. You might have to test things out but once you find the environment that works stick to it.
 

Lesson 6: Know exactly what you will be doing beforehand.

 
If you plan on writing know what the topic is going to be about, if you plan to read know which book you will be reading, do not get to that scheduled time and then start wondering what it is you are supposed to do – know it beforehand.
 
You may not have all the answers or all the details planned out but at least know what the project or subject matter will be.
 

Lesson 7: Be flexible to changes and be opened to testing – this is where you know what really works for you.

It is your life and not anyone else so do not think you have to copy anyone’s schedule time, routines or actions.
 
Test and see what work for you, how it makes you feel and when best it is to start.
 
Test to see the order it should go through, test to see if you are more productive at certain times than the others  – test, test, test.
 
You have the right to accept what works for you and reject what doesn’t work without guilt.
 
I believe this lessons, if planned and taken into action, would allow you to not just implement your desired new habits but actually see the ripple effect consistency can have in your life.
 
What was your biggest takeaway? – send me an email to let me know.

How to bounce back from failure

How to bounce back from failure

I wrote an exam thrice – I failed it twice but passed it the third time and I wanted to share what it felt like failing and the lessons I learnt on how to bounce back from failure.

I remember the second time I failed this paper the first feeling that came to me was “I was a failure” and why there were justifiable reasons to have felt this way allowing myself stay this way was wrong. I wanted to sink down and just forget about everything but that was when I remembered – or more correctly reminded myself who I was and what failing was.We all fail at something but it is how we perceive failure that determines how we would bounce back.

Failing in anything we do is an event not who we are as individuals, yes things might not be working the way we want them to but that doesn’t make you a failure – it just means you need to work on your approach in a different way and now you know one way that doesn’t work.

failure image 4

how do you turn an event of failure to an event of victory

 

 Realize failure is just an event and never personalize your failure to mean who you are.

Learn to distant the event from the person we all will fail at somethings we do in life. I wish there was a better solution but it is inevitable but when we do we need to never take it personally this subtle change is the winning force that turns things around.

 Review what didn’t work and why the failure happened.

For me, it was asking why I didn’t pass after so much reading and then realizing my mistakes was that I had failed to practice and so by realizing what was the missing link I decided to focus on that.

 Do what you think will work and trust yourself 

The thing about failing Is that you start to doubt yourself and your ability to provide the right answers for your situation , you might think the answers you discover for what didn’t work may not be good enough, you begin to doubt yourself thinking you are not good enough but the truth is you are, all you need to do is trust in yourself and do what you believe works (now if you also believe you need to get help you should do that it is totally fine so far it is not coming from a place of low self-esteem in yourself as an individual)

Give it yet another try

I remember clearly after picking myself up from the depth of self-pity that I had dragged myself into how I made one commitment to myself – even if I had to write that exam 100 times I was going to write it till I passed it – and I meant it – so don’t be afraid to give it yet another try.

Victory will always come and when it does – make a big deal out of it, celebrate, eat, have loads of fun and above all don’t forget to look back at all your failures and let them know – “I conquered you”.

What was the biggest failure you had that you believe you might never bounce back from let me know

What to do when you are alone on your Journey to greatness

What to do when you are alone on your Journey to greatness

Have you ever found yourself alone trying to make things work in your business and life thinking you have lots of supports only to find out that you actually don’t?

Well, this is true for me – I found myself all alone trying to build a business that would last a lifetime and then realizing I am going on this journey all alone.

And yes, I have a family and yes, I have friends but they are not all invested in my business, yes, they wish me well and hope I succeed but really would it be a big deal if I fail not really. It was a sad realization at first but that is not the end of the story.

I am not here to rant about my life as realizing this (being alone) is something I have come to accept as an individual sometimes you just have to go alone for a while before people get you. You will have people in your life who love you but truly can’t understand your drive, passion and dreams

But what are you going to do because this is happening, fold your hands and give up – no! you need to become your own support system.

It may seem strange and it may seem out of the norm but the fact is Are you going to follow people’s expectations or plan for you? or are you going to trust in yourself and believe that you are enough to do what needs to be done?

And it seems like I am preaching to the choir here (myself) but I also believe that a lot of people are going through the same journey and I have some tips that can help you out. The fact is you are enough to go on this journey – you just need to believe in yourself enough.

 

So, what if your only support system is just you what should you do – I have 5 tips that will help out

 

  1. Totally get clear on what it is you want from your life – the truth is if you don’t know what you want anywhere will look like the bus top. So, you need to know for yourself what it is you want – not for your family not for your friend but yourself, what does success mean to you? what would make your life a fulfilled one – you need the answers for yourself.
  2. Believe in your dreams and visions – if you don’t believe in yourself, no oneself can and it would only be a matter of time before you will be derailed to someone else plan. So as much as you can remind yourself of your vision and your dream and Why you are doing It
  3. Take action toward your plan and vision – a favorite quote of mine is if you can’t soar – fly, if you can’t fly – run, if you can’t run – walk and if you can’t walk – crawl, but by all mean get moving towards your goals (Martin Luther King Jnr) this quote says it all, do something every day in line with your dream. Be intentional about your life.
  4. Positive self-talk and self-visualization – it is a common saying that you cannot become what you cannot see and you cannot have what you can’t say – so forget the naysayers and start talking positive, start speaking your dreams like it was already fulfilled start believing it. Your reality would always at some point time align with your mind – so get a mindset that sees unlimited possibilities.
  5. Don’t give up – it usually takes time. It may be hard but don’t give up on your dreams and vision. Believe in it and know It usually takes time. Learn the act of enjoying the journey while also looking forward to the destinations you want.

Remember success is who you are every day when you do something towards your goals.

Lastly, if you don’t have a lot of support from people around – you can join online communities where you meet people that can take you beyond where you are currently to where you want to be

 

I hope this helps you, so what part of walking this journey alone scares you. Let me know in the comment section.

 

Understanding your reality and being realistic in goal setting

Understanding your reality and being realistic in goal setting

Have you ever set a goal in which you didn’t believe that you would achieve?  You believed it was impossible  – that is being unrealistic with your goals.

Also, have you set a goal that looks good on paper but you really can’t find time or resource to achieve it  – this is when you don’t understand your reality.

One of the main filters I use for goal setting is SMART – which is being Specific, your goals being Measurable, it being Attainable, Realistic and Timebound.

I also mention the fact that you need to be conscious of your reality when setting your goals.

So then, what is the difference between setting a realistic goal and knowing your reality? They are not the same and their definition and the following explanation should explain why.

Your reality is being conscious of your daily life experience.

The fact is that when setting your goals, you have to be conscious of your daily reality – you can set a goal to read every day for 3 hours after work. when in reality you get home by 9 pm and you are supposed to get back up by 4 am. This is an impossible goal.

And while a lot of people use sleep deprivation and other means to see they get this done – you really are not working optimally on your best output and the possibility for you to crash is very high and once that happens there can occur a spiral trail of you losing the initial momentum you started with and then getting back to achieving even 20 minutes of reading may seem impossible.

So, when setting goals, you want to be fully conscious of your daily reality examples of these are being truthful with the time you actually have against what you think you do have.

Another example would be energy level – knowing when you get tired easily and when you are refuelled, also concentration level and output level all this thing affects your goals – this is what it means to be conscious of your reality but what does it mean to be realistic with your goal.

Well, it is basically to know what your mind can allow you to have and being okay with it. For some it is deceiving themselves that is the main problem – your mind holds a very significant role in anything you are going to become in life – ANYTHING.

Being realistic means being able to set goals that are possible in your mind to achieve.

Now it may not be possible based on your daily reality which really means your day to day experience but if your mind really can see it then it is definitely possible for you to attain it.

If you can see it you can have it and so it is okay if right now your mind cannot see you buying that range rover it is totally fine. Just work on your mind and while you are doing that don’t put range rover as the car you want to buy in your goal but the Camry your mind can accept as the goal.

3 ways to work on your Mind

  1. Confession – these are the confession on who you want to become, this is general in nature and can come in “I am” statements are the example I am smart, I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am a child of God etc.
  2. Affirmation – affirm your goals, say it like you have achieved it example I weight 70kg, I have published 3 of my book this year etc.
  3. Vision boards – our minds begin to accept whatever we see regularly so get pictures of images of where you want to be and start looking at it regularly.

I hope this helps you understand what both this concept now means in goal setting.

Wishing you the very best.

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